Jesus On The Lite Side

We have gotten many favorable responses to our short stories that help us understand scripture but that do not come directly from the Bible. For that reason we have decided to include these kinds of stories on a regular basis.

 


Say Cheese, Johnny

Lightning StrikeA mother was driving to a grocery store with her 5 year-old son, Johnny. They soon found themselves in a thunderstorm. Flashes of lightning and rolls of thunder came one after another.

The mother looked down at Johnny, thinking perhaps he might be afraid. Instead he was smiling.

“Johnny, why are you smiling?” she asked.

“Because God keeps taking my picture,” he answered.

 



Potential for Greatness

Pastors made for GreatnessA small church in rural Kentucky prided itself on being a training ground for seminary students ministering in their first pastorate. While interviewing pastoral candidates, a member of the search committee mentioned the former pastors who had gone on to serve in prominent capacities – as president of the seminary and pastor of a large city church, another also as a seminary president and a third as president of two denominational conventions and an international alliance.

“How in the world did you find that many potentially great men in this little church?” the astonished candidate asked.

“Find them,” said the committee member. “We didn’t find them. We made them.”

 



Dear God

Jesus on the Lite Side
Little Susie said: “Dear God,

Before I finish, please take care of Daddy, Mommy, my baby brother,
take care of Grandma, Grandpa…and please, God, take care of yourself…
Or else we’re all sunk!”

 



Late for Sunday School

Jesus on the Lite Side - Late for Sunday SchoolA little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Sunday School. As she ran she prayed, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late! Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late!” As she was running and praying, she tripped and fell. She brushed herself off and started out running again. As she ran she once again began praying, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late . . . but, please don’t push me again!”

 



For Heaven’s Sake

Jesus on the Lite SideHe was one of those lads who seemed to keep getting into mischief. It frustrated his mother greatly. Finally, one day when he was being particularly troublesome, his mother posed this question to him: “How do you ever expect to get into heaven?”

The lively boy thought a few seconds, then said, “Well, I’ll just run in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, ‘For heaven’s sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out.’”

 



Careful How You Say It

There have been so many serious problems throughout the world that I decided to include something this week that I hope will give everyone a laugh. It is a little story that came into my presence, but I do not remember how.

Jesus on the Lite SideThere’s a story about a revival where a barber was saved. The preacher told him that since he was a barber and got to meet a lot of people, he could do a great work for the Lord if he would talk to them about religion and salvation. When he asked how he could get into a conversation like that with his customers, the preacher said, “Just do it casually. Talk to them about their soul, ask if their house is in order, if they are prepared to die, and so on.”

The first man to come in the next day wanted a shave, so the barber put a hot towel over him, talking about the weather and what-not, and then after he had lathered the man up good, he figured it was time to get down to the religion part. He grabbed up his razor, stropped it a few times, pointed at the man, and said bluntly, “Brother, are you prepared to die?” The man jumped up and ran out of the barbershop with the lather still on his face.